I've been told that E is one of those easy babies who lulls his parents into thinking that another baby will be a piece of cake.
Seriously? This is easy?
I get it. He's easier than some other babies. He sleeps remarkably well with very few wakeups these days. Meanwhile, I still hear mothers in E's room talking about how their kids are sometimes up 3 times per night. Clearly I am spoiled. E woke up 3 times for exactly 1 night, way early on, and B and I both thought we had traveled to hell and back by the time morning rolled around.
I know. If you have one of those difficult babies, you want to shoot me for having such an easy baby. But it hasn't felt easy to me!
E has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and the challenge is never-ending. He's around every day! My way of thinking has been forever changed. E's well-being is now my top priority, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.
Sure, I get breaks. Believe it or not, I think of work as a break. On some weekends, I look longingly toward Tuesday, the start of my workweek. The end of a Friday no longer represents the freedom it used to.
So, yes, I suppose in comparison to some babies or say, 14.5 months of being stranded on a deserted island with no toothbrush, E is easier. And under his reign, we've achieved a sort of normalcy.
It's a new normal, of course. In this new normal, I go to bed at 9:00 or 9:30 every night and wake up around 6 or 6:30 every day. I'm home nearly every night from 4 PM onward. I rarely eat in restaurants. My avec-Eli outings are never more than an hour in duration. I dread any occasion that requires Eli to miss a nap. And I spend a lot of time at home. A lot.
This new normal is predictable, and believe it or not, after the chaos of spitup, snot, vomit, and wakeups that were hallmarks of E's first year, predictability is welcome. We've figured out a nice little routine, and in it, E is thriving, I've found more of the balance I've been craving, and B is able to participate more in our weekday activities.
E is now between 14 and 15 months old, and I understand why so many children are spaced 2 years apart. I think most people make it this far and while they feel like they've been through some sort of foggy, sleep-deprived, vomit-covered war, they decide that now that peace has descended, they can do it again.
I am not most people. E has not lulled me into thinking that another baby would be a breeze or even for that matter doable. If I have to go through those feelings of imprisonment again, I think I will become unhinged. (And I'm only partially joking.)
The ladies at E's school keep telling me that they're waiting for E's younger sibling to come to school. I keep telling them that they should probably not get their hopes up...
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Shoe snobbery
I don't want to start every blog post with an apology for my sparse blogging, so let's assume it's implied from here on out. (Or really, has been implied since E was born.)
E goes to bed later these days, usually around 6 PM, so my free time each evening is significantly reduced (hence the lack o' blog). I try to embrace changes that indicate that he's growing up, but part of me does occasionally miss the free time I had when bedtime was 4:30.
This post wasn't meant to be about E, so I'll keep the updates short. He walks, he runs, and he even talks. Yes, the little man officially speaks the following words:
(Feats that would otherwise be undeserving of this title are amazing when you consider how unaccomplished babies are when they are born. Delicately put, babies are not the sharpest knives in the drawer, and any semblance of intelligence is enough to make you predict Great Things for your offspring. Though probably it's still a bit early to schedule the campus tour of Yale.)
Anyway. Moving on to some non-baby chatter. I wanted to share my newest interest: Shoes.
I've never been and probably never will be one of those women who is obsessed with shoes. (Because then I'd have to give up my jacket obsession, and that's not happening.) Nevertheless, as my wardrobe continues to evolve, I recognize that shoes are necessary accessories to complete my outfits. I cannot wear my slip-on Merrells every day, no matter how comfortable they are. (And they are pretty amazing, considering I've had them for nearly 5 years now.)
I guess that last anecdote illustrates how desperately my shoe collection needs a revamp.
In the past, my shoe buying followed an unfortunate trend. A night or two before an event, I'd realize I had nothing to wear on my feet for the occasion and then dash off to Marshall's, returning home with a pair of shoes that were right in color but wrong, wrong, wrong in comfort. I wasted way too much money and Band-aids.
Now that my feet have graduated to the less readily available size 11 and I have decided to buy only shoes that my feet love, my shoe hunting efforts require more planning. And Nordstrom offers an excellent online shoe collection for those who are willing to delay gratification and shop online.
I will not pretend that Nordstrom is as cheap as Marshalls because it is not. However (spoiler alert: I can justify anything), I'd rather buy one pair of shoes that I love and will wear all the time than four pairs of shoes that will gather dust because they are so uncomfortable and eventually end up at the Salvation Army, where they have the potential to injure so many more feet than my own.
My goal in developing my shoe collection is to eliminate the night-before-an-event-shopping-emergency. If I have a diverse enough shoe collection, I will always have an appropriate pair to wear with an outfit. I am slowly building up this shoe collection.
So far, I have bought two pairs of shoes and one pair of sandals from Nordstrom, and I love them all. With the last two pairs, I stepped up my game and purchased footwear that was made in Europe, not China. I'm not anti-China, but I wanted to determine whether shoes made in Spain or Italy are significantly better than those made elsewhere.
Based on my limited, two-shoe sampling, I have to say that yes, shoes made in Europe feel nicer in my hands and on my feet. I still got blisters from one pair (the other pair I haven't worn enough to know), so they're not perfect, but perhaps I should have taken them for a more conservative stroll for their first showing.
In general, you can expect to pay a premium for shoes that are made in Europe, but on the other hand, they are made with superior materials, and with proper care, they should last longer than other shoes.
Now I need to learn how to take care of my shoes. And perhaps find a cobbler.
E goes to bed later these days, usually around 6 PM, so my free time each evening is significantly reduced (hence the lack o' blog). I try to embrace changes that indicate that he's growing up, but part of me does occasionally miss the free time I had when bedtime was 4:30.
This post wasn't meant to be about E, so I'll keep the updates short. He walks, he runs, and he even talks. Yes, the little man officially speaks the following words:
- This. ("Dis!")
- That. ("Dat!")
- Duck. ("Duck.")
- Hi. ("Hi-ee!")
(Feats that would otherwise be undeserving of this title are amazing when you consider how unaccomplished babies are when they are born. Delicately put, babies are not the sharpest knives in the drawer, and any semblance of intelligence is enough to make you predict Great Things for your offspring. Though probably it's still a bit early to schedule the campus tour of Yale.)
Anyway. Moving on to some non-baby chatter. I wanted to share my newest interest: Shoes.
I've never been and probably never will be one of those women who is obsessed with shoes. (Because then I'd have to give up my jacket obsession, and that's not happening.) Nevertheless, as my wardrobe continues to evolve, I recognize that shoes are necessary accessories to complete my outfits. I cannot wear my slip-on Merrells every day, no matter how comfortable they are. (And they are pretty amazing, considering I've had them for nearly 5 years now.)
I guess that last anecdote illustrates how desperately my shoe collection needs a revamp.
In the past, my shoe buying followed an unfortunate trend. A night or two before an event, I'd realize I had nothing to wear on my feet for the occasion and then dash off to Marshall's, returning home with a pair of shoes that were right in color but wrong, wrong, wrong in comfort. I wasted way too much money and Band-aids.
Now that my feet have graduated to the less readily available size 11 and I have decided to buy only shoes that my feet love, my shoe hunting efforts require more planning. And Nordstrom offers an excellent online shoe collection for those who are willing to delay gratification and shop online.
I will not pretend that Nordstrom is as cheap as Marshalls because it is not. However (spoiler alert: I can justify anything), I'd rather buy one pair of shoes that I love and will wear all the time than four pairs of shoes that will gather dust because they are so uncomfortable and eventually end up at the Salvation Army, where they have the potential to injure so many more feet than my own.
My goal in developing my shoe collection is to eliminate the night-before-an-event-shopping-emergency. If I have a diverse enough shoe collection, I will always have an appropriate pair to wear with an outfit. I am slowly building up this shoe collection.
So far, I have bought two pairs of shoes and one pair of sandals from Nordstrom, and I love them all. With the last two pairs, I stepped up my game and purchased footwear that was made in Europe, not China. I'm not anti-China, but I wanted to determine whether shoes made in Spain or Italy are significantly better than those made elsewhere.
Based on my limited, two-shoe sampling, I have to say that yes, shoes made in Europe feel nicer in my hands and on my feet. I still got blisters from one pair (the other pair I haven't worn enough to know), so they're not perfect, but perhaps I should have taken them for a more conservative stroll for their first showing.
In general, you can expect to pay a premium for shoes that are made in Europe, but on the other hand, they are made with superior materials, and with proper care, they should last longer than other shoes.
Now I need to learn how to take care of my shoes. And perhaps find a cobbler.
Monday, April 9, 2012
No vigilante justice
Yesterday morning, I received an email from my bank, alerting me to unusual activity on my card. I have received similar messages in error in the past, so I wasn't concerned. Nevertheless, I logged on to my account immediately to see which of my recent transactions had raised an alert.
Perhaps it was the $340 I spent at Cosmetic Mall? Maybe the $322 I spent at Donna Karan? The $293 I spent at Astonishing Skin?
Oh, wait. I didn't make purchases from any of these companies. But someone who used my card number did!
I called my bank, and they were great. (Shocking, I know). They canceled my card to prevent other transactions from going through, and they told me that I'm NOT responsible for any of the charges, even though the card is a debit card. They also gave me a phone number to call in case the charges are finalized and I need help getting refunds.
Today I received phone calls from 3 of the merchants. One rightfully suspected foul play ("Most people don't send 10 perfumes to an address other than their billing address"), and another notified me that my card had been declined. Donna Karan did not call, but I called them and let them know that the order was not legit and that they should cancel it.
And all the merchants were great, too. I suspect that most companies would prefer to find out that they won't get paid before they ship an order. And interestingly, several merchants offered me the name and address of the person who was to receive the packages in case I wanted to take action.
I declined. Vigilante justice isn't my style. And despite how well my bank has performed in this situation, I suspect that they wouldn't take any action against the perpetrator of the fraud.
But whoever did it was clever. She (assumption, based on the stores) placed the orders around 2 or 3 AM on Sunday morning. And not just any Sunday, Easter Sunday, a day when people might be less likely to be checking email and certainly less likely to be checking their bank accounts.
Luckily for me, I checked my mail early in the morning and was able to cancel my card before many transactions went through. That said, the funds for all the transactions are on hold until the cancellations get processed. Bummer.
I have to wait 7-10 business days for a new card and then remember all the merchants who had the number for my old card. But otherwise, this whole experience has been only a minor hassle.
You might be wondering how my card got compromised. I have no idea. Speculation feels wrong and finger-pointy, so I will do my best not to mind-convict anyone with whom I have conducted business recently.
Perhaps it was the $340 I spent at Cosmetic Mall? Maybe the $322 I spent at Donna Karan? The $293 I spent at Astonishing Skin?
Oh, wait. I didn't make purchases from any of these companies. But someone who used my card number did!
I called my bank, and they were great. (Shocking, I know). They canceled my card to prevent other transactions from going through, and they told me that I'm NOT responsible for any of the charges, even though the card is a debit card. They also gave me a phone number to call in case the charges are finalized and I need help getting refunds.
Today I received phone calls from 3 of the merchants. One rightfully suspected foul play ("Most people don't send 10 perfumes to an address other than their billing address"), and another notified me that my card had been declined. Donna Karan did not call, but I called them and let them know that the order was not legit and that they should cancel it.
And all the merchants were great, too. I suspect that most companies would prefer to find out that they won't get paid before they ship an order. And interestingly, several merchants offered me the name and address of the person who was to receive the packages in case I wanted to take action.
I declined. Vigilante justice isn't my style. And despite how well my bank has performed in this situation, I suspect that they wouldn't take any action against the perpetrator of the fraud.
But whoever did it was clever. She (assumption, based on the stores) placed the orders around 2 or 3 AM on Sunday morning. And not just any Sunday, Easter Sunday, a day when people might be less likely to be checking email and certainly less likely to be checking their bank accounts.
Luckily for me, I checked my mail early in the morning and was able to cancel my card before many transactions went through. That said, the funds for all the transactions are on hold until the cancellations get processed. Bummer.
I have to wait 7-10 business days for a new card and then remember all the merchants who had the number for my old card. But otherwise, this whole experience has been only a minor hassle.
You might be wondering how my card got compromised. I have no idea. Speculation feels wrong and finger-pointy, so I will do my best not to mind-convict anyone with whom I have conducted business recently.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Pumped breast milk vs. formula
The metaphorical breastpump bonfire occurred over three weeks ago. It was glorious.
A physical bonfire did not occur. I think it's against condo rules. Plus, despite the recent damage I did at the local mall (Nordstrom, I'm looking at you), I am too frugal to destroy a working appliance, even one I loathe.
But I am finished, and I am loving life without pumping. My happiness is up; my stress is down. I no longer feel constrained by the choices that I have made, and I am much more able to feel grateful for what I have. My whole outlook on life is rosier.
E drinks formula full time, and now that I have experience with both pumped breast milk and formula, I thought I'd offer a comparison of the two.
Time cost
When contrasting pumped breast milk and formula, we must consider two costs: time and money.
The time cost of pumped breast milk is high. If you pump exclusively, you spend 2-3 hours of every day pumping. You probably have 3-6 pumping sessions per day. At the beginning (and sometimes throughout your pumping experience), at least one of those sessions has to be in the middle of the night.
The time cost of formula is minimal. You need less than 5 minutes to make a bottle. If you have 2 hands free, you can shake 2 bottles at once.
Financial cost
The financial cost of pumped breast milk is low, at least after you acquire your pump and pumping gear. However, ongoing costs include nursing pads and bags for storing breast milk. The overall investment can be significant.
However, over time, the cost of formula is much higher. We go through a canister every 5-7 days, plus E's school goes through a cannister every 2-3 weeks. Each canister is around $20. My estimates indicate that our formula costs for 2 months of part-time use and 2 months of full-time use will be around $500. Not cheap.
Another factor to consider - the waste factor. A baby has one hour to finish a formula bottle, and then you have to dump it out. The waste can be significant. We were a bit more loosey-goosey about returning breast milk bottles to the fridge, at least after E got older (around 2 months or so).
Ease of use
Formula wins, hands down, in the ease-of-use category. Formula is sooooo easy. I cannot emphasize the easiness enough, at least in comparison to pumping.
Very little is easy about breast milk except that you always have some in the fridge, so you never have to spend time making a bottle. (That said, you can pre-make formula bottles and keep them up to 24 hours, so a little planning means that you aren't holding a screamer while shake-shake-shaking it up.)
Washing up
I have six sets of pump parts. My routine was to run the dishwasher after 3 pumping sessions. At one point, I was running the dishwasher 3 times per day.
Without the pumping parts, the top rack of the dishwasher is less crowded, and we've even had a few days on which we did not have to run the dishwasher. (Gasp.)
That said, the bottle and now sippy cup parts take up a fair amount of space, so we still have 2 baskets on the top rack. (Though this arrangement is still much better than 3 baskets.)
The time I spend emptying the dishwasher is reduced, and the counter space devoted to drying parts is also smaller now that we're using formula.
Health benefits
Formula is adequate nutrition. Most babies thrive, no matter what they drink.
However, breast milk offers extra benefits, including an immunity boost (allegedly - E's constantly running nose begs to differ).
The benefits to me were also worthy of note. I lost all my pregancy weight and regained my pre-pregnancy shape without making any effort. I even dropped below my pre-pregnancy weight, despite all that I ate. (And I ate a lot. Ice cream and pastrami, I miss you.)
I'm not saying this to brag. (Ok, maybe I am, a little.) Instead, I am trying to present at least some benefits to pumping because let's face it, there aren't many for the mom.
Overall preference
Nobody strives for adequacy, and that's why I pumped for 10 months. I wanted to give E the best start I could. Ideally, I should have kept it up for 12 months (or longer, gah) and not given him any formula. But I am satisfied with my efforts, and I am so glad to be finished.
If you're contemplating pumping, good luck to you. As for me, I plan to never do it again.
A physical bonfire did not occur. I think it's against condo rules. Plus, despite the recent damage I did at the local mall (Nordstrom, I'm looking at you), I am too frugal to destroy a working appliance, even one I loathe.
But I am finished, and I am loving life without pumping. My happiness is up; my stress is down. I no longer feel constrained by the choices that I have made, and I am much more able to feel grateful for what I have. My whole outlook on life is rosier.
E drinks formula full time, and now that I have experience with both pumped breast milk and formula, I thought I'd offer a comparison of the two.
Time cost
When contrasting pumped breast milk and formula, we must consider two costs: time and money.
The time cost of pumped breast milk is high. If you pump exclusively, you spend 2-3 hours of every day pumping. You probably have 3-6 pumping sessions per day. At the beginning (and sometimes throughout your pumping experience), at least one of those sessions has to be in the middle of the night.
The time cost of formula is minimal. You need less than 5 minutes to make a bottle. If you have 2 hands free, you can shake 2 bottles at once.
Financial cost
The financial cost of pumped breast milk is low, at least after you acquire your pump and pumping gear. However, ongoing costs include nursing pads and bags for storing breast milk. The overall investment can be significant.
However, over time, the cost of formula is much higher. We go through a canister every 5-7 days, plus E's school goes through a cannister every 2-3 weeks. Each canister is around $20. My estimates indicate that our formula costs for 2 months of part-time use and 2 months of full-time use will be around $500. Not cheap.
Another factor to consider - the waste factor. A baby has one hour to finish a formula bottle, and then you have to dump it out. The waste can be significant. We were a bit more loosey-goosey about returning breast milk bottles to the fridge, at least after E got older (around 2 months or so).
Ease of use
Formula wins, hands down, in the ease-of-use category. Formula is sooooo easy. I cannot emphasize the easiness enough, at least in comparison to pumping.
Very little is easy about breast milk except that you always have some in the fridge, so you never have to spend time making a bottle. (That said, you can pre-make formula bottles and keep them up to 24 hours, so a little planning means that you aren't holding a screamer while shake-shake-shaking it up.)
Washing up
I have six sets of pump parts. My routine was to run the dishwasher after 3 pumping sessions. At one point, I was running the dishwasher 3 times per day.
Without the pumping parts, the top rack of the dishwasher is less crowded, and we've even had a few days on which we did not have to run the dishwasher. (Gasp.)
That said, the bottle and now sippy cup parts take up a fair amount of space, so we still have 2 baskets on the top rack. (Though this arrangement is still much better than 3 baskets.)
The time I spend emptying the dishwasher is reduced, and the counter space devoted to drying parts is also smaller now that we're using formula.
Health benefits
Formula is adequate nutrition. Most babies thrive, no matter what they drink.
However, breast milk offers extra benefits, including an immunity boost (allegedly - E's constantly running nose begs to differ).
The benefits to me were also worthy of note. I lost all my pregancy weight and regained my pre-pregnancy shape without making any effort. I even dropped below my pre-pregnancy weight, despite all that I ate. (And I ate a lot. Ice cream and pastrami, I miss you.)
I'm not saying this to brag. (Ok, maybe I am, a little.) Instead, I am trying to present at least some benefits to pumping because let's face it, there aren't many for the mom.
Overall preference
Nobody strives for adequacy, and that's why I pumped for 10 months. I wanted to give E the best start I could. Ideally, I should have kept it up for 12 months (or longer, gah) and not given him any formula. But I am satisfied with my efforts, and I am so glad to be finished.
If you're contemplating pumping, good luck to you. As for me, I plan to never do it again.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
On scheduling and sleep, or: What do I do with my baby all day?
A few weeks ago, I wrote a long and rambling post about infant sleep but decided not to post it. It was too disorganized, and I couldn't figure out what my point was.
So, here's my second attempt, and I will clarify my point up front: I'd like to share what I know about infant sleep so that if you have a new little one or if you have one on the way (or for whatever reason, you are interested in infant sleeping patterns), you won't make the same mistakes that we made.
I'll start off by offering the following guideline: Think of each day as a math equation that consists of sleeping parts and awake parts. Your goal in the first four months of your baby's life is to create a day that consists of the following parts:
The trickiest part of this math equation is determining how long the awake periods should be. For most babies, the first awake period of the day is very short, particularly for newborns. Most babies can handle being awake for only an hour before needing to go back to sleep for what might be a lengthy nap.
E, who is one of the sleepiest babies I have ever heard of and who continues to sleep 15 or 16 hours every day, could handle being awake for only an hour until he was 5 or 6 months old, maybe older. (It's a bit hazy.)
The second awake period is usually longer, though again, with very sleepy babies, you might be looking at an awake period of only an hour in the first few months. Until just a month or two ago, E couldn't go much longer than an hour and 45 minutes without turning into a gremlin.
The length of the third nap varies, but it's frequently the shortest and is the first to be dropped, at some point by 9 months. After the third nap is typically a baby's longest awake period of the day, so it's a good time to try out solid foods (if you're there) or run an errand.
During the awake periods, you feed your baby, change his diaper (typically at wakeup and before going down), and play with him. You might feed your baby upon wake-up or right before putting him to sleep. Newborns typically fall asleep while feeding, so there isn't much opportunity for play, but with an older baby, the awake period is a good time for kicking on a play mat, practicing tummy time, playing peekaboo, or watching Mom or Dad do household chores.
Your job as a parent is to learn your child's sleepy cues so you can figure out the ideal awake periods for your baby. Signs of sleepiness include a dazed look on the face, yawning, and rubbing eyes. If you see either of the last two signs, put that baby to sleep immediately because he's in danger of getting overtired, and if he gets overtired, he will be very difficult to put to sleep. If he gets overtired and is very difficult to soothe and settle, note how long he was awake, and put him to sleep after a shorter wake-up period the next day.
Every baby is different, but I'll give a sample schedule of how a day might go for a four-month old:
E's bedtime is even earlier than 6 PM most nights. He has gone to bed as early as 4:15 and slept through the night. On daycare days, he usually goes to bed around 5 PM.
Here is a typical (non-daycare day) for E these days:
You'll note that E is down to only 2 naps. By 9 months, babies' naps get longer in duration and they drop their third nap. Almost overnight around 8 months, E went from 45 minute naps to hour-and-a-half naps (an amazing transformation). Now I sometimes have to wake him from his first nap in order to keep his naps on schedule. (A note about waking a sleeping baby - don't do it, unless his sleeping will prevent him from taking his next nap on schedule. That doesn't happen until you're down to 2 naps per day and have a regular sleeping schedule.)
You might be thinking that this schedule is rigid and doesn't leave a lot of flexibility for leaving the house. You are correct. I believe I have blogged about my house arrest status. However, life is full of choices, and we have made the choice to put Eli's sleep first. He's been sleeping through the night since 7 1/2 weeks, so I believe that we are making the right choice.
And if you're wondering when babies drop their morning naps: That usually happens between 12 and 21 months.
If you want to learn more, check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Its organization is shockingly bad, but the content is great. (That said, prepare yourself for needing to read it multiple times to figure out the most important parts.)
So, here's my second attempt, and I will clarify my point up front: I'd like to share what I know about infant sleep so that if you have a new little one or if you have one on the way (or for whatever reason, you are interested in infant sleeping patterns), you won't make the same mistakes that we made.
I'll start off by offering the following guideline: Think of each day as a math equation that consists of sleeping parts and awake parts. Your goal in the first four months of your baby's life is to create a day that consists of the following parts:
- Awake for the day.
- Nap 1.
- Awake.
- Nap 2.
- Awake.
- Nap 3.
- Awake.
- Asleep for the night.
The trickiest part of this math equation is determining how long the awake periods should be. For most babies, the first awake period of the day is very short, particularly for newborns. Most babies can handle being awake for only an hour before needing to go back to sleep for what might be a lengthy nap.
E, who is one of the sleepiest babies I have ever heard of and who continues to sleep 15 or 16 hours every day, could handle being awake for only an hour until he was 5 or 6 months old, maybe older. (It's a bit hazy.)
The second awake period is usually longer, though again, with very sleepy babies, you might be looking at an awake period of only an hour in the first few months. Until just a month or two ago, E couldn't go much longer than an hour and 45 minutes without turning into a gremlin.
The length of the third nap varies, but it's frequently the shortest and is the first to be dropped, at some point by 9 months. After the third nap is typically a baby's longest awake period of the day, so it's a good time to try out solid foods (if you're there) or run an errand.
During the awake periods, you feed your baby, change his diaper (typically at wakeup and before going down), and play with him. You might feed your baby upon wake-up or right before putting him to sleep. Newborns typically fall asleep while feeding, so there isn't much opportunity for play, but with an older baby, the awake period is a good time for kicking on a play mat, practicing tummy time, playing peekaboo, or watching Mom or Dad do household chores.
Your job as a parent is to learn your child's sleepy cues so you can figure out the ideal awake periods for your baby. Signs of sleepiness include a dazed look on the face, yawning, and rubbing eyes. If you see either of the last two signs, put that baby to sleep immediately because he's in danger of getting overtired, and if he gets overtired, he will be very difficult to put to sleep. If he gets overtired and is very difficult to soothe and settle, note how long he was awake, and put him to sleep after a shorter wake-up period the next day.
Every baby is different, but I'll give a sample schedule of how a day might go for a four-month old:
- Wake-up: 7:00 AM
- Nap 1: 8:00 - 10:00
- Nap 2: 11:30 - 12:30 PM
- Nap 3: 2:30 - 3:30
- Bed: 6:00
- Nighttime wake-ups: Ideally, no more than 2 for feedings, usually around midnight and 3 or 4 AM.
E's bedtime is even earlier than 6 PM most nights. He has gone to bed as early as 4:15 and slept through the night. On daycare days, he usually goes to bed around 5 PM.
Here is a typical (non-daycare day) for E these days:
- Wakeup: 6:45 AM
- Nap 1: 9 - 10:30 AM
- Nap 2: 1:00 - 2:30
- Bed: 5:30 PM
You'll note that E is down to only 2 naps. By 9 months, babies' naps get longer in duration and they drop their third nap. Almost overnight around 8 months, E went from 45 minute naps to hour-and-a-half naps (an amazing transformation). Now I sometimes have to wake him from his first nap in order to keep his naps on schedule. (A note about waking a sleeping baby - don't do it, unless his sleeping will prevent him from taking his next nap on schedule. That doesn't happen until you're down to 2 naps per day and have a regular sleeping schedule.)
You might be thinking that this schedule is rigid and doesn't leave a lot of flexibility for leaving the house. You are correct. I believe I have blogged about my house arrest status. However, life is full of choices, and we have made the choice to put Eli's sleep first. He's been sleeping through the night since 7 1/2 weeks, so I believe that we are making the right choice.
And if you're wondering when babies drop their morning naps: That usually happens between 12 and 21 months.
If you want to learn more, check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Its organization is shockingly bad, but the content is great. (That said, prepare yourself for needing to read it multiple times to figure out the most important parts.)
Monday, February 13, 2012
So sick
I have been known to make fate-tempting declarations, including "I've never had a cavity!" and "I'm one of the healthiest people I know!" The former is still true (so far). The latter, sadly, is no longer true.
I've been sicker this winter than I've ever been in my life. I'll take it even further: I think I've been sicker this winter than the average person. Sicker than average! Nobody wants to be average (right?), but even less desirable is worse than average.
But so it is, and E, our huggable, lovable little mucus factory, is almost entirely to blame. That little boy's nose hasn't stopped running since mid-November, with the exception of a 3-day stretch in which he battled the norovirus and nearly had to go to the ER for dehydration.
The norovirus was the tipping point for me, when my winter went from unpleasant (two cases of mastitis, a cold, and a couple of sequences of bad sleep for E) to downright horrible. E caught the bug first, naturally. B and I spent the weekend holding him and spoon feeding him Pedialyte, praying for wet diapers and no more vomit.
B caught the bug next and had a milder case. A few days passed, and I thought I had escaped without succumbing, but in the end, the stomach bug bell tolled for me, too, just days after I caught another cold.
The stomach bug went away. I started feeling better. And then a week and a half ago, I got a sinus infection. I suffered through a weekend of headaches, sinus aches, and toothaches, and then I went to the doctor on a Monday. She recommended waiting to take antibiotics in case the infection cleared on its own and prescribed Afrin and Motrin in the meanwhile.
This occasion was the third in my life in which I waited to take antiobiotics. The first time, when a doctor diagnosed bronchitis, I made the right decision, and the illness went away on its own. The second time, when I had mastitis, waiting was the wrong decision and just made the illness worse. And in this case, I suspect that waiting was again the wrong decision, though there's no way of knowing whether time or the drugs helped with my symptoms.
When the Motrin was no longer doing anything for my pain, I filled the amox prescription and then had to wait another 2 days before I felt any improvement. Now on day 5 of the antiobiotics, I can almost start chewing on the left side of my mouth again.
My inability to chew on the left side of my mouth for over a week combined with a stomach virus and the generally poor appetite that accompanies illnesses has left me at my pre-college weight. Is this Mother Nature's way of helping me drop any remaining baby pounds because if so, she has achieved her goal and then some.
So, here is my warning to all soon-to-be and future parents: If your child goes to daycare, your first winter is going to be hell. There will never be a day when all of you are healthy. And you'll never know whether this coughing illness or that vomiting illness will leave your child unable to sleep through the night for days at a go.
According to our pediatrician, the first winter is the worst. Please let it be so.
I've been sicker this winter than I've ever been in my life. I'll take it even further: I think I've been sicker this winter than the average person. Sicker than average! Nobody wants to be average (right?), but even less desirable is worse than average.
But so it is, and E, our huggable, lovable little mucus factory, is almost entirely to blame. That little boy's nose hasn't stopped running since mid-November, with the exception of a 3-day stretch in which he battled the norovirus and nearly had to go to the ER for dehydration.
The norovirus was the tipping point for me, when my winter went from unpleasant (two cases of mastitis, a cold, and a couple of sequences of bad sleep for E) to downright horrible. E caught the bug first, naturally. B and I spent the weekend holding him and spoon feeding him Pedialyte, praying for wet diapers and no more vomit.
B caught the bug next and had a milder case. A few days passed, and I thought I had escaped without succumbing, but in the end, the stomach bug bell tolled for me, too, just days after I caught another cold.
The stomach bug went away. I started feeling better. And then a week and a half ago, I got a sinus infection. I suffered through a weekend of headaches, sinus aches, and toothaches, and then I went to the doctor on a Monday. She recommended waiting to take antibiotics in case the infection cleared on its own and prescribed Afrin and Motrin in the meanwhile.
This occasion was the third in my life in which I waited to take antiobiotics. The first time, when a doctor diagnosed bronchitis, I made the right decision, and the illness went away on its own. The second time, when I had mastitis, waiting was the wrong decision and just made the illness worse. And in this case, I suspect that waiting was again the wrong decision, though there's no way of knowing whether time or the drugs helped with my symptoms.
When the Motrin was no longer doing anything for my pain, I filled the amox prescription and then had to wait another 2 days before I felt any improvement. Now on day 5 of the antiobiotics, I can almost start chewing on the left side of my mouth again.
My inability to chew on the left side of my mouth for over a week combined with a stomach virus and the generally poor appetite that accompanies illnesses has left me at my pre-college weight. Is this Mother Nature's way of helping me drop any remaining baby pounds because if so, she has achieved her goal and then some.
So, here is my warning to all soon-to-be and future parents: If your child goes to daycare, your first winter is going to be hell. There will never be a day when all of you are healthy. And you'll never know whether this coughing illness or that vomiting illness will leave your child unable to sleep through the night for days at a go.
According to our pediatrician, the first winter is the worst. Please let it be so.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Life changes
In 2000-2001, my life changed dramatically. I took a year off school and got an internship in another state. In the process of leaving my life behind, I discovered a new life with a happier, better me.
In 2010-2011, my life changed dramatically. I got pregnant. I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy. I've redefined my normal once again, and while this new life is less indulgent and more structured, I've had the honor and privilege of creating a new life, and I am lucky enough that I can watch him grow up.
Between you and me, I'm a little scared about what 2020-2021 has in store for me. Luckily, I have a long time before I find out.
Everyone tells me about how fast time passes when you have a child. I understand it. The past eight months have gone by quickly. (Though I have to say that the first 8 weeks of those 8 months were among the longest of my life.) I think time is passing so quickly because we haven't had many fun adventures to break up the monotony of bottles, diapers, and naps.
I'm looking forward to going on adventures with E. I ask B all the time where we should take E for his first vacation. That we are even contemplating a vacation with him is a huge step. I don't see myself hopping into an airplane with E any time soon--I'm not that brave--but maybe we can do a long weekend somewhere this summer.
A lot of people really enjoy the baby phase, but I am really looking forward to E being more like a mini human and less like a baby. I want him to be able to eat the food that we're eating and tell us what he's thinking and offer opinions and engage with us in a way that his little brain just can't do now. But whenever I find myself wishing for him to be older and more self-sufficient and frankly, a little less in need of so much sleep (seriously...15-16+ hours/day is nice but inconvenient), I try to remind myself to sit back and enjoy his baby years because they'll be gone soon.
In 2010-2011, my life changed dramatically. I got pregnant. I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy. I've redefined my normal once again, and while this new life is less indulgent and more structured, I've had the honor and privilege of creating a new life, and I am lucky enough that I can watch him grow up.
Between you and me, I'm a little scared about what 2020-2021 has in store for me. Luckily, I have a long time before I find out.
Everyone tells me about how fast time passes when you have a child. I understand it. The past eight months have gone by quickly. (Though I have to say that the first 8 weeks of those 8 months were among the longest of my life.) I think time is passing so quickly because we haven't had many fun adventures to break up the monotony of bottles, diapers, and naps.
I'm looking forward to going on adventures with E. I ask B all the time where we should take E for his first vacation. That we are even contemplating a vacation with him is a huge step. I don't see myself hopping into an airplane with E any time soon--I'm not that brave--but maybe we can do a long weekend somewhere this summer.
A lot of people really enjoy the baby phase, but I am really looking forward to E being more like a mini human and less like a baby. I want him to be able to eat the food that we're eating and tell us what he's thinking and offer opinions and engage with us in a way that his little brain just can't do now. But whenever I find myself wishing for him to be older and more self-sufficient and frankly, a little less in need of so much sleep (seriously...15-16+ hours/day is nice but inconvenient), I try to remind myself to sit back and enjoy his baby years because they'll be gone soon.
Putting an end to the suffering
When I suffered my second bout of mastitis just days after completing the antibiotics course for my first bout of mastitis, I decided it was time to re-evaluate the pumping situation.
I like the idea of providing E with the very best nutrition, but my pumping was distancing me from him and potentially interfering with my ability to care for him. When I pump, I cannot pick E up, feed him, or even bend over. When I'm home alone with him, I pump during his naps, but when I have mastitis, I have to stick to a more strict schedule, so I need someone else to be available to take care of him while I pump (and when I'm unable to get out of bed or pick him up).
My mother took care of E both times that I got mastitis. I'm so lucky that she was able and willing to do that, but not being able to take care of your own child is a daunting position to be in.
I decided that 7 1/2 months of pumping and 2 bouts of mastitis was enough. I had suffered enough. (A touch dramatic, perhaps, but I was in rough shape.)
I am now slowly, slowly, slowly reducing the time that I pump, with the goal of stopping pumping all together at some point in the near future.
I drop a minute from each pumping session every 3 or 4 days. B and I joke that I will still be pumping on the day of E's high school graduation. Ok, probably not, though it could be months before I'm able to stop completely. Going slowly is the key to avoiding another run-in with the big M, mastitis.
My weaning myself from the pump means that E now has to drink some formula. I thought that I would feel guilty after giving him his first bottle of formula, but interestingly, I did not feel guilty. I felt relieved. I was no longer solely responsible for producing his nutrition. And luckily for us, he is willing to drink formula, which he gets only at school for the time being. We still have enough breastmilk that he doesn't (yet) have to drink formula at home.
My pumping journey has been long and difficult, and it's not over yet, but I'm proud of myself for making it this far, and I am so looking forward to the day when I no longer have to pump.
I like the idea of providing E with the very best nutrition, but my pumping was distancing me from him and potentially interfering with my ability to care for him. When I pump, I cannot pick E up, feed him, or even bend over. When I'm home alone with him, I pump during his naps, but when I have mastitis, I have to stick to a more strict schedule, so I need someone else to be available to take care of him while I pump (and when I'm unable to get out of bed or pick him up).
My mother took care of E both times that I got mastitis. I'm so lucky that she was able and willing to do that, but not being able to take care of your own child is a daunting position to be in.
I decided that 7 1/2 months of pumping and 2 bouts of mastitis was enough. I had suffered enough. (A touch dramatic, perhaps, but I was in rough shape.)
I am now slowly, slowly, slowly reducing the time that I pump, with the goal of stopping pumping all together at some point in the near future.
I drop a minute from each pumping session every 3 or 4 days. B and I joke that I will still be pumping on the day of E's high school graduation. Ok, probably not, though it could be months before I'm able to stop completely. Going slowly is the key to avoiding another run-in with the big M, mastitis.
My weaning myself from the pump means that E now has to drink some formula. I thought that I would feel guilty after giving him his first bottle of formula, but interestingly, I did not feel guilty. I felt relieved. I was no longer solely responsible for producing his nutrition. And luckily for us, he is willing to drink formula, which he gets only at school for the time being. We still have enough breastmilk that he doesn't (yet) have to drink formula at home.
My pumping journey has been long and difficult, and it's not over yet, but I'm proud of myself for making it this far, and I am so looking forward to the day when I no longer have to pump.
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