The odd couple: Pregnancy and sleep

Oh, sleep, how do I love thee and how I have missed thee these past few months.

You might have heard that when you're pregnant, you're supposed to sleep on your side, for medical reasons that I won't get into. It's been a difficult adjustment.

I became a back sleeper about 10 years ago after hurting my back while moving and then sleeping on a horrible mattress night after night (ah, college). Sleeping on my back resulted in less pain the next day, so I adapted.

Adapting back to being a side sleeper has not been an easy task. Night after night, I'd wake up on my back and force myself onto my side. Then, unable to sleep, I'd wonder whether I should persevere or just put off the challenge until I absolutely had to start sleeping on my side.

I bought some accessories to help me along. First off, I bought a feather bed topper for our mattress, using the reasoning that it would probably be easier to sleep on my side if I had some softer cushioning beneath me. I suppose it is, a little.

I also bought a Snoogle body pillow. I think it will be helpful later in my pregnancy, but in the earlier days, it felt more like a contraption designed to make my middle-of-the-night bathroom trips even more difficult than they already are. Having to extricate oneself from the Snoogle and then maneuver oneself back into it (and the rest of the bedding) at 2 AM while wearing head-to-toe flannel footie pajamas is a challenge that I dare even the bravest amongst us to accept, pregnant or not.

Eventually, after my tactics proved to be less than completely successful, I decided to chill a little on the sleeping position. It was a good decision, for several reasons.

At my last doctor visit, I asked about when I needed to start sleeping on my side. She said not for another month or so (which is around now). I explained that I was having difficulty with it, and she said that I didn't actually have to sleep completely on my side, and that if I just propped one hip up with a pillow, it was good enough.

For the past few weeks, I've been attempting the pillow trick, and while I don't stay on the pillow the entire night, I can always adjust the pillow back when I wake up (an event that happens frequently throughout the night). And interestingly enough, I find that it is now much easier to sleep on my side than it was before--perhaps it's because I've been trying to train myself all these months, but more likely it's because my body knows that it's best.

I'm not sure if I'm sleeping any better, but I am resting easier.

How pregnancy feels

Before I became pregnant, I used to wonder how pregnancy felt. I'm not talking about the symptoms I described in an earlier post. I wondered whether I'd be able to tell if I was pregnant, and if not, when I would be able to tell.

Five months in, I can say that, unfortunate symptoms aside, being pregnant doesn't feel much different from not being pregnant, from a day-to-day perspective, anyway. However, I have experienced the following physical changes.

Skin that is even more transparent than it was before
Ok, my skin is not really more transparent. The change is that my body is creating lots and lots of extra blood, making my arteries and veins stand out more and making my skin seem more transparent.

(You would think that all of this blood would make me warmer, or at least less susceptible to cold. I am neither.)

In fact, my more-noticeable veins in the palms of my hands were the first sign that I was pregnant, before the pregnancy test said so. Of course, the books and online resources don't offer this tidbit as a "helpful early pregnancy sign" so I ignored the change.

A significantly less glamorous walk
My strides have always been long and focussed. I place one foot in front of the other as if I am walking on a straight line and can place my feet only on the line.

It has become harder and harder to maintain this walking style. Early on in my pregnancy, something in my lower back felt like it was was...widening. This change made me want to modify my walk so that my feet didn't quite make it to the line. My feet preferred plodding along parallel lines in a walk that could best be described as a...waddle.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night as I drag myself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom, I give in to this waddling tendency. However, when I am fully in control of my senses, I do my best to maintain my previous walk, or at least a semblance of it.

I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to keep this up, but I am not ready to say goodbye to my old walk yet.

The end of running up stairs
Continuing with the less-glamorous changes, I feel...heavier. I have gained around 10 pounds since August, and this weight along with my more sedentary winter lifestyle probably contribute to my becoming out of breath earlier than I would have before. However, it feels more like I'm carrying around something heavy in my belly.

Perhaps because I am.

Anyway, I don't feel it when I'm walking or lying down or anything like that. I only feel this increased heaviness when I try to do something a little more active, like run up the stairs. Even walking up the stairs two at a time is no longer possible; I can't lift my legs as high, and I just can't generate the necessary momentum to keep myself moving up an entire flight of stairs.  

Baby movements
This change is definitely the most fun. For a few weeks now, I've been able to feel the baby moving.

How does it feel...well, sort of a cross between gas and other "intestinal activities." Except more magical, of course, since it's a human being rolling around in there.

But magic aside, it really just feels like gas.

You can feel the kicks and movement from the outside, too, so B has been able to feel the little guy rolling around in there. Some kicks are a bit more aggressive than others. Apparently, they're only going to get more aggressive as he gets bigger. That should be interesting.

Just before I go to sleep and whenever I get up in the night, he starts moving. And I feel him rolling around periodically throughout the day. If I am very active (for instance, going for a long walk), he is definitely less active; I read that my activity rocks him to sleep.

I suspect that getting him to go to sleep will not be as easy after he enters the world, so I am enjoying the power that I have for now.

Yes, these are maternity pants

Maternity clothes and I have an uneasy relationship. Maternity tops...I'm not there yet. However, I have dipped my toe into the maternity pants pool. 

I haven't fit into most of my real pants in quite some time. My Bella Bands have allowed me to make them work, for the most part.

I have worn a pair of Old Navy maternity jeans. They are not ideal. Either I need to get bigger, or they need to shrink, or perhaps they're just not meant to stay up. A belt did not help. I have considered throwing them into the dryer to bring about some shrinkage, but I worry that they then wouldn't be long enough. You can get away with too-short maternity pants in the last month, when people should just be happy that you showed up to wherever you are, but I'm not there yet. I still have to make some semblance of an effort. Perhaps suspenders...

My other stand-by maternity pant is from the Gap and is that stretchy black yoga-y type material that I see all the time in my doctor's waiting room. These pants arrived in the mail, and I wore them every day for...well, quite some time. These pants might not be dressy, but they're so darn comfortable. And because they don't really look like maternity pants, I'll be able to wear them in the weeks after the Rooster arrives.

But it's much harder, mentally, to start wearing the tops, perhaps because they are all so obviously maternity clothes. I think part of me is pretending that if I ignore them, I won't have to wear them. And by "part of me," I mean most of me, even the normally rational part (though I haven't started crying over them...yet).

However, it's time to face facts. B hasn't asked me (jokingly) in quite some time, "Are you sure you're pregnant?" because, well, I'm starting to look like I am. I've bought some tents maternity shirts, and they're hanging in a closet. Eventually, I will have to try them on and remove the tags and maybe even wear them.

In my defense, at my last visit, my doctor agreed that it was too soon to wear them, as they are still too big for me. For now, it's best to continue wearing my baggier tops, which I tried to stock up on in preparation.

If you're considering pregnancy in the upcoming months or years, now is the time to start buying some less tailored clothing. You can wear Bella Bands and low-cut maternity pants after you start getting bigger, but it's so nice to have pants that give a little (my favorite is Lucy's Walk About Pant, which come in long sizes). And if you're reluctant to wear maternity tops, make sure you have some not-too-fitted tops that will stretch. Open cardigans and empire-waist tops work great and feel like better investments because they're not specifically for your pregnancy.

How long can I last wearing my normal clothes? Only time and my growing belly will be able to answer that question...

Christmas songs I don't miss

I love Christmas music. There is nothing like a rousing Hallelujah Chorus or O Holy Night to get me excited for that magical time of the year. However, not all Christmas songs are created equal, and some are so annoying that they make me wish that radio stations did not offer 24-hour-a-day Christmas music. Here are the worst offenders, the songs that I do not miss now that Christmas is over.

Baby, It's Cold Outside
I actually like this song, but in my head, I think of it as the Date Rape Christmas Song. Christmas songs should not evoke visions of date rape.

Christmas Shoes
Taking over for I'll Be Home for Christmas and Blue Christmas as the saddest Christmas song ever, this one features a dying mother. Nothing like a little impending death to bring out the generosity of others, eh? I change the station every time this comes on and keep hoping that other people will catch on that this song does not belong on the radio at Christmas time (or any other time, if you ask me, but clearly no one has).

Anything by Wayne Newton as a child
The Sirius 40s station, which plays Christmas hits from the good old days, introduced me to these classics. His voice grates on my nerves. If you aren't familiar, take a listen on You Tube. I dare you to listen to a song in its entirety.

Jingle Bells "sung" by barking dogs
I had to stop listening to the pop Christmas station on Sirius because they played this song multiple times each day, and I couldn't bear to listen to even a few seconds of this horror show. Jingle Bells might not be the finest song ever written, but it deserves better than to be barked to.

Do They Know It's Christmas?
Sigh. Where to start with this one?

First of all, I hold it at least partially responsible for would-be Vice Presidents and Miss Teen USAs who think that Africa is a country.

Second of all--and I understand that philosophies regarding philanthropy have changed over the years, and perhaps it's not fair to judge the writers based on today's standards--but one of the best ways to bring relief to an area is to increase tourism. Did the writers of the song believe that "a world of dreaded fear," "where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears," and "the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom" portrayed Ethiopia (or rather Africa, since Ethiopia was never mentioned by name) in the best light?

And that's not all. Since the song mentions only Africa, we have to evaluate the words for the entire continent, and it is simply not true that Africa is the place "where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow." Furthermore, parts of Africa do receive snow!

I don't want to disparage the fund-raising efforts of those involved, and I'm sure that most of them participated because they wanted to help. However, a more positive and accurate song might have raised the same amount of money and have helped beyond just a check.

Pregnancy: The bad and the ugly

I haven't written much in the last few months, mostly because I had a lot to say but wasn't ready to talk about it. But now I am ready, so prepare for the deluge! The happy news is that I am pregnant with an active baby boy that my husband wants to name Rooster. (So not happening.)

And so for my first pregnancy post, I'm going to tell you about all of the bad stuff that comes with being pregnant! I hope that this post does not set the tone for future posts; I intend at some point to write about all of the positive side effects of pregnancy, if I can come up with more than two of them, anyway.

Pregnancy introduces a new normalcy of health that frequently feels far from normal. Here are a few of the symptoms that have characterized my pregnancy thus far. I suspect that more are still to come...

NAUSEA
I am very lucky that this stage was short-lived for me, though while I was in the middle of it, I had no way of knowing that its worst would last only 3 weeks.

My nausea was not as bad as it could be; for instance, I did not break my twenty-plus-year streak of a vomit-free existence (I don't know why I don't vomit; it just doesn't happen). However, I did spend much of my time lying on the couch, wondering why on earth women willingly have multiple children.

At its "best," my nausea was similar to the seasickness I felt on our Caribbean cruise, or to the way that I feel after I consume dairy without a Lactaid pill. This feeling was constant and stayed with me most of the day.

At its worst...this is difficult to describe. Do you know the feeling you get in your stomach just before the stomach cramps tell you that it's time to find a bathroom, and fast? It was like that, only there was no way of making it go away.

I probably should have mentioned this, but as you can already tell, my blog is not going to offer The Sexy Gal's Guide to Pregnancy-type of information. But if you've been reading for any amount of time prior to this, you probably already knew that.

I discovered that frequent eating of small meals helped. After I ate, I usually felt better for about 15 minutes, and then the nausea returned. If you wait too long to eat, you feel terrible and the last thing in the world that you want is food. However, if you can convince yourself to eat, you will feel better, or at least I did.

The worst of my nausea was over within three weeks. However, I didn't really feel like myself for several more months. Standing for long periods of time was difficult, and I still felt a general malaise that was difficult to kick. (More about my sleepiness later.)

A side effect of this nausea was a mild case of the blues for which I was unprepared. I think there were a few causes.

First, I had no idea how long the nausea would last; for some women, it's a few days or weeks, and for others, it lasts the entire duration of their pregnancy. I couldn't imagine 9 months of feeling as bad as I did.

Second, I had to hide it as best as I could, as I was not ready to share the happy news with everyone so early. Pretending to feel great when you don't is exhausting.

Finally, my nausea was not something that I could treat, as most drugs are off-limits, and I felt powerless in my sick feeling.

I feel lucky to have had such short-lived nausea.

STUFFY NOSE
The nausea ended, and the congestion began! However, I will take a stuffed-up nose over sickness any day.

The medical cause of this congestion isn't known, but it's fairly common among the preggos. I dealt with it for as long as I could and then convinced B that we ought to get a humidifier. He was amenable, so we hit our local Target in search of relief. There I learned that there are both hot and cool air humidifiers, and the hot humidifiers are best for congestion. Hot won.

A hot humidifier boils the water, so it sounds a little like a hot pot while it's running, but it helped immensely and minimized my usual wintertime dry-weather cough, so it's a keeper. Plus my congestion is much better, though I'm not sure whether I should credit the humidifier or simply the passage of time.

SLEEPINESS
I have always been an enthusiastic and needy sleeper. I used to require a minimum of 8 hours per night to not feel tired during the day, and this need has only increased since I became pregnant. My typical bedtime is now around 8 PM, and I sleep until 5:30 or 6 AM. On weekends, I have been known to go to bed at the same time and sleep even later (and sometimes take a nap, too).

It's possible that this sleepiness is at least partially related to my next symptom:

SLEEPLESSNESS
This symptom comes and goes. When it comes, it usually sticks around for several nights. I can always fall asleep when I first go to bed, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, I stay awake for three or more hours. I'm usually able to fall back to sleep around 5:30 or 6, but if it's a weekday, that's when I have to get up anyway.

I have no idea what causes my sleeplessness, which feels like jet lag. I'm sleepy but unable to sleep.

Last week, several nights of sleeplessness left my defenses down, and I came down with a ferocious cold, which I unfortunately shared with B. I'm mostly over it now, over a week later, but he is still fighting the worst of it.

IRRATIONAL CRYING
I am nothing if not rational...most of the time. But these pregnancy hormones are tricky little buggers. Minor annoyances that I would--if I were able to think rationally all the time--be able to ignore and forget about become major grievances for no reason whatsoever, and the only response that I am able to muster is an immediate emotional breakdown.

I slipped and almost fell down in the lobby at work one rainy day and had to go spend some quality time crying about it in the bathroom. I had to spend similar time in the bathroom at the symphony the other night after they made me throw out my tea. Who makes a pregnant, sick woman throw out her tea??? Jerks. Though in their defense, I suppose they couldn't tell that I was pregnant.

It's best to succumb to the tears once they start coming on, or they stalk my eyes for hours to come. However, giving in has its downside because once the crying starts, it's very difficult to make it stop. I read a sad book a month or so ago (The Friday Night Knitting Club?) and cried after the end for a solid 30 minutes. You can do stuff like that when you're home alone. When your husband is home, he's likely to be scared by such behavior.

Lucky for me, my irrational crying is not an everyday or even everyweek occurrence, so most of the time I do not feel like a weeping, blubbery mess.

ITCHY BELLY
I did not expect this symptom. My belly is itchy practically all the time. I got some "tummy honey" by Bella B; it's supposed to prevent stretch marks (sigh), so I've been applying it liberally, and it helps with the itchiness. But it doesn't make the itch go away completely. I just have to deal with it and try not to scratch too much.

FREQUENT BATHROOM TRIPS
Remember the sleeplessness? The reason I wake up so much in the middle of the night is because I am constantly running to the bathroom. Each night involves a minimum of one and sometimes as many as three trips to el banyo. It's not unusual for me to use the bathroom multiple times within a span of 10 to 15 minutes.

A couple weeks ago at our last ultrasound, the technician told us that the baby's head was resting right on my bladder. That explained a lot. He's getting big enough that I can now feel when he presses down on my bladder. I won't attempt to explain it in detail; I'm sure you can imagine the sensation. It seems to happen the most when I'm in the car.

So there it is, all the bad stuff, or all the bad stuff that has happened to me so far. More tales from the bump to come...

Cashmere aspirations

Last winter, in the midst of the cold, rain, fog, snow, and other atrocities that January and February bring, I decided that as long as I was going to put up with winter, I might as well start wearing more cashmere.

Cashmere is lightweight, warm, soft, and very expensive. Even the sale prices of 100-percent cashmere sweaters are very high. Not surprisingly, my efforts at developing my cashmere collection were dampened by the high cost of each cashmere piece. It's difficult to justify buying one cashmere sweater when I can buy two or three (or more!) other pieces for the same cost.

By the end of the winter, I had added only one cashmere-y piece to my collection, a black long-sleeved turtleneck sweater that isn't even 100-percent cashmere. Despite its shortcomings, it's a staple piece that I wear throughout the winter, so it was not a bad place to start.

However, I have a long way to go. My goal is not to achieve cashmere mafia status but perhaps a few more cashmere pieces would make winter more tolerable.

A couple weeks ago, I was scanning the sales at one of the online daily boutique stores (this time, ideeli, though I also belong to Gilt, Rue la la, and HauteLook) and came across a boutique of winter essentials. The boutique included several cashmere items--clearly I am not alone in my quest--including a gray duster (like a sweatercoat, but no buttons) that was begging to come home to me.

Ordinarily, gray is not my go-to color when it comes to sweaters, but a cashmere sweater is a basic piece that should last for years and transcend the cuts, colors, and styles of one season's fashion trends. Therefore, I willingly and happily bought it. The free shipping credit I had received earlier in the week from ideeli made the purchase even more worthwhile.

The sweater fit perfectly and is now hanging in my closet, awaiting the arrival of more cashmere friends, whenever they might arrive.

Hello, fall

Just now, as I was putting our Love Actually CD into our stereo, I realized that we're getting close to the time when it's ok to play Christmas music.

For the record (har har), the CD features only a couple of Christmas songs, but they feel a little off in May. The rest of the CD is so awesome that I play it all year, but now as the weather turns colder, other people (including my husband) won't think I'm so strange for listening to the occasional Christmas song.

The falling leaves are bringing other changes. Throughout the last week, skeins of Canada geese heading toward warmer climes and fruity drinks with umbrellas have darkened our dusk skies. Some are better than others at observing the regulation V-shaped flying formation, but even the shape-challenged birds noisily announce their presence. I could happily live without those dirty birds and their tendencies to wander into traffic and make annoyances of themselves, but I look forward to their annual cacophonous melody, and not just because their departure heralds fireplace season.

That's right - it has arrived! We have adopted the winter configuration of our living room, with one of our leather chairs placed perilously close to the fireplace. Well, not so perilously, as there was a minor incident last winter involving a pillow falling between the chair and the glass of the fireplace. Technically, there were no flames. However, B seems to think that my insatiable quest for warmth could lead to danger, so I have been instructed to keep myself and my accoutrements a safe distance away from the hot glass.

Just right now, for instance, I am nearly a foot away. Safety first!

Chilly weather also brings an excellent excuse for shopping - Christmas gifts! If I can't shop for myself all the time, the second-best option is shopping for other people. We started our Christmas shopping this week, entirely online so far, as most of my shopping seems to be these days, unless I have a craving for mall food court Indian food with peshawari naan. The stuff we cook at home pales in comparison.

Anyway. Enjoy the fall. Pick an apple, photograph a leaf, and enjoy the beautiful sunsets because rumor has it, snow will be here before we know it.