While I am hardly a pro in the entertaining world, I have thrown a few parties in my day (and was once even paid to plan, organize, and host social events) and have learned a few tips that might be useful to others.
First of all, if you've never thrown a dinner party (or lunch party, or brunch, or any event that involves a meal), summer is a great time to host your first event. For a summer meal, the most refreshing side dishes are chilled dishes, which you can prepare ahead of time. Each component of the meal that you prepare in advance translates into less stress before the meal and more time with your guests. Plus you can taste any dish that you make in advance, and if it doesn't turn out quite as expected, you have time for plan B.
Speaking of plan B, it's a good idea to have one for dishes that you can't prepare ahead of time but which you aren't sure how they'll turn out. For instance, if you are mostly confident in your ability to pull off a 12-layer cake, go for it--but maybe keep some ice cream in the freezer, just in case. No one is going to complain if your dinner party features 2 desserts.
The morning of your event, take out the silverware, dishes, glasses, and any other necessities (napkins, wine glass charms, soup bowls, or dessert forks/spoons and plates, to name a few options) for your guests and set the table or place them in the buffet area. You don't want to be scrambling around for a final fork as your guests are waiting to eat. And don't worry if all of your plates, glasses, and silverware don't match--cleanliness matters much more than matchy-matchiness.
A little over an hour before your guests arrive--or however long a dishwashing cycle takes--load up and run through your dishwasher, and make sure you put the dryer on. From the moment the dishwasher starts, you should hand wash every dish, pot, or bowl that you dirty, dry it immediately, and put it away to minimize the mess. Make it a goal to not leave a single dirty dish in the kitchen when you're sending food out to the table or buffet. After the meal, you won't have room in the dishwasher, since the space will be occupied by the dishes, silverware, and glasses from the meal, and the prospect of returning to a disastrous kitchen is not going to make for a restful dining experience.
If you are unable to prepare everything ahead of time--a likely scenario if your summer meal involves grilling--it's helpful to have a partner. One of you can cook, and the other can assemble the food in serving dishes, empty the dishwasher when the cycle finishes, and wash and dry dirty dishes. I'm always astounded by the number of items that we dirty in the last 10 minutes before a meal goes to the table, but washing as you dirty helps to minimize the chaos.
The washing person can also check in with guests periodically to make sure everyone is comfortable and has a drink. You've probably noticed that as the host(ess) of a dinner party, you're not able to spend a lot of time with your guests. It's a limitation that you should be aware of before you decide to host. If you want to spend most of your time mingling with your guests, drastically trim your menu, outsource the cooking and cleanup, or host an evening party that features only appetizers that you can cook ahead of time.
Before you sit down, identify the containers that will hold your leftovers; you can even take them out. When you clear the table after the meal, you can drop your food into the containers, wash the bowls, load the plates and silverware into the dishwasher (make sure everyone keeps their glasses until at least the dessert course!), and then rejoin your party. If you return to a clean kitchen after your meal, your post-meal cleanup will be a breeze.
Happy entertaining!
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