Maybe next I'll learn how to do hair

This weekend I visited Sephora again. I had to exchange some blush that I purchased online.

I bought the Sephora brand blush a couple months ago and have been happy with it, but as I reached the bottom of the container, I noticed that pieces were breaking off. I didn't spend $12 on a small blush container to lose the last quarter of it in my sink. I wanted to exchange the unopened replacement with something else.

At the mall, B and I were alerted that we were approaching the Sephora store by the small army of men gathered outside, lounging on the railing and trying to look casual. B joined the ranks and I headed in.

I feel weird browsing around a store and then bringing my return to the counter, as if the sales person will suspect that I simply brought in my receipt and grabbed a replacement item from the store to return something that I didn't actually buy. Of course I would never do this, and it's likely that the sales people at the counter don't pay attention to my behavior before I reach them, but I waited in line with the rest of the buyers, only to hand over my blush and then start browsing.

I attempted to look like I knew what I was doing, but I suspect I fooled no one, and a sales person was quick to ask if I needed assistance.

"Yes," I said. "I'm looking for blush." I showed her the blush I returned, explained why I didn't like it, and asked for a recommendation. She corraled a fellow sales person, who thought for 5 seconds and then led me to the Clinique counter and showed me a blush.

"It seems a bit brown," I said. I don't do brown. She disagreed, and put some on her hand. There was not even a hint of brown.

"I'm not crazy about the sparkles," I said. She said that it had the same exact luminosity as the blush I was returning. I was skeptical. She brought me over to the display, and I put some of the sample on my hand. Sure enough, they could have been the same color. (And perhaps they are...)

I laughed and apologized and said that it was clear that she knew far more than I and that I was sorry for doubting her expertise. She laughed with me (or was it at me...) and said it was fine, and she offered to put some on me so I could see it, since I wasn't wearing any blush.

Except I was. I said so. She ignored me and proceeded to put blush on half my face, demanding all the while that I smile. She told me to go look in the mirror. I walked over and saw myself, but with a much rosier cheek than I'm used to having.

"Isn't it a bit...too much?" I asked. "That looks like a lot of blush to me."

Not at all, she explained. Rosy cheeks bring attention to the right part of my face. Or something. I forget the argument. She also said that I wasn't wearing the rest of my make-up. I was, but I decided to remain silent with my protest.

I walked back to her and she blushed up the other half of my face. Again, I was taken aback by the color in my face.

"You mean," I said, "you're supposed to put on enough so that you can actually see the color?"

She pursed her lips and looked at me like I was some hungry animal that refused to eat the food placed in front of it. She then explained where and how I was supposed to put on blush. I realized that no one had ever explained this information to me. I felt almost as if I should latch on to this woman and beg to be taught everything she knew.

Instead, I thanked her for her help, took the blush that she offered, did my exchange, and returned to rescue B.

"Do I look like I'm wearing too much blush to you?" I demanded. B said no, but it's possible that he said that to protect my feelings (as he should). I was again left wondering.

I decided to experiment with this concept of having more than a hint of color in my cheeks, and while I can't quite reproduce the Sephora sales person's skillful application, I think that I have perhaps struck a compromise between her method and my previous method (which, truth be told, was not exactly methodical).

I'm still working my way through the crumbly Sephora blush, but I'll try to remember to report back my satisfaction with Clinique.