Emotional shopping injuries

During the post-wedding photo bonanza, we visited our favorite mall nearly every weekend, to the point that B (who has demonstrated his above-average shopping stamina on multiple occasions) declared that he was tired of going to the mall, and it was time to find other ways of entertaining ourselves.

While I did not feel shopped out--I rarely do--I agreed, and turned to the world of online shopping. The switch was wise, especially now that trips to the mall cost an astonishing $10. Paying for shipping is becoming more attractive.

But sometimes online purchases just don't work out. An item that looks stunning on a mannequin sometimes becomes the most unflattering shirt that you've ever worn, as was the case with the purchase that I had to return tonight. The mall is on my way home from work, so I decided to stop in and see if I could exchange my unfortunate shirt for something a little more flattering.

I swapped the top, picked up a new pair of shoes for this weekend's wedding (and saw a slew of patent leather options in the store--since when is patent leather a summer material??), and then hit Express, a dependable store for long-enough pants. I am slowly acquiring clothing with brown in it, so I needed a pair of brown pants.

I have several pairs of pants from Express and used to shop there frequently, but I hadn't been in in a while. I grabbed my usual size--8 long--and hit the dressing room, only to find a rude surprise.

There wasn't anything in the dressing room. The problem was with the pants. They were tight. Not uncomfortably tight, probably not scandalously tight, but definitely not...loose. Whether I could have fit chapstick in the pocket was debatable. I stood in front of the mirror, staring and trying to figure out what had happened. I came up with the following hypotheses:

• The store has recently changed their sizes, and size 8 is now smaller than it used to be. Unlikely. But not entirely out of the question....right?
• My standards for the way that clothing should fit have matured. Maybe tighter clothes used to seem ok, but now that I have reached the ripe old age of 25 (several times, in fact), the clothing feels inappropriate. Definitely a possibility. There were a few items in my closet (long gone now, of course) that should never have left the store with me, let alone made public appearances.
• We all know what the last option is. I'm not going to say it.

There's only one course of action. It's time to start shopping at stores that charge lots of money but let you think that you fit into a 2 or a 4. I haven't worn a size 2 since I was 13 (and even then--scandalously tight), but I think it's time to revisit that experience.

For the record--I left the store with a size 10 pant. And they're baggy. Kind of...