So not a guitar heroine

After no one bought him his favorite toy for Christmas, B took matters into his own hands and bought Guitar Hero himself.

We were nearly the oldest people in the video game store at the local mall the evening we picked it up. Being there brought back memories from my childhood, when I would spend ages agonizing over the next Nintendo game to ask for for my birthday or Christmas.

Not that I was any good at Nintendo games, or any video games, really. My natural athletic grace (har, har) just doesn't translate into the video game world--except for Tetris.

I'm awesome at Tetris. I can play for hours--at a single game. I love the idea of fitting all of the pieces together nicely with no gaps. It's how life would be, if I were the architect of life...

But I'm not the architect of life, and therefore, I am bad at Mario Bros. and their newer counterparts, whoever they might be. I didn't know how I'd be at Guitar Hero, but I had a pretty good idea.

I did not disappoint. Or rather, I did, but in delivering a disappointing performance, I lived up to my expectations. After one round of Michael Jackson's Beat It, I realized that I would never rise up in the ranks of Guitar Hero, and I'm ok with that. I'll add it to the list of life accomplishments that will never be achieved, along with appreciating anime, hugging trees, and saving the princess.

Get with it, princess--get off your throne and plan your own escape.