I recently read an article that discussed the concept of a disposable marriage (that wasn't their terminology, but that's how I viewed it). The idea was that if two people get married and then realize that they made a hasty decision and aren't compatible for a lifetime commitment, they can divorce and basically reset their lives as long as they don't have children. I am not endorsing this idea, but one concept that I took away from the article was that most of the people with quickie marriages expected that their lives would change dramatically after they got married.
In one situation, a woman expected her workaholic fiance to suddenly become a 9-to-5er after the honeymoon. Needless to say, her expectations weren't met.
Another woman got married because she thought it was the next logical step in the relationship and that if she got married, all of the problems in the relationship would be fixed. You don't need to be married to know that that is a flawed plan.
It seems to me that if you go into marriage with the expectation that everything will change (the unstated implication here is of course that the changes will be for the better), you are setting yourself up for disaster. If everything doesn't change, you're disappointed. If everything does change, what do you do if you don't like the changes?
I'm not approaching our marriage with the idea that everything will change--in fact, I'm expecting the opposite--that very little will change. Other than financial changes (merging accounts and all of that), nothing else is coming to mind. I asked B for his opinion, and he also thinks that our lives together will continue on as before with very few changes.
Phew.
