What do you want to be when you grow up?

(This one's not wedding related.)

Any article that starts with "Jay Gatsby has one" is obviously going to catch my attention. After all, The Great Gatsby is my favorite book.

The article, from the NY Times (registration required) is intriguing--write a life list to capture all that you want to accomplish in your life. From the silly to the sublime, you can use a simple list to figure out what's most important to you.

I've never written an official life list, though I've dabbled in the sport, and I am a seasoned listmaker. I already have a few items to start my list:

1. Write a novel.
2. Live in a foreign country for at least a month.
3. Sew a quilt.
4. Take frame-worthy photographs and hang them in my home.
5. Take art classes.

Now this will be a fun project to work on after the wedding.

The incredible shrinking groom!

This weekend, B and I were discussing his wedding-day wardrobe, and we realized that he didn't yet have a shirt to wear for the big day. He decided he wanted to wear a white button-down shirt with French cuffs--my wedding gift to him was a pair of wedding-themed cufflinks. B is quite the snappy dresser and owns only exciting shirts--there wasn't a single white button-down in his closet, French cuffs or otherwise.

B did have the khaki pants that he'll be wearing--we bought them several months ago at the Banana outlet. However, we weren't so sure that they'd still fit.

Last month when I was feeling responsible and adult-like, I researched life insurance and found out that life insurance companies use 3 levels of health to determine your insurance premium, and I decided that B and I both have to be in the healthiest (aka cheapest) health bracket to keep our premiums down. I told B that we had to do everything in our power to get into the healthiest bracket, at least for the medical exam--it would mean saving thousands of dollars over the life of the insurance plan. He decided to re-examine his eating habits to try to get his BMI into the optimal zone.

And what an overachiever he is! None of his pants fit anymore--they are too baggy. He tried on his wedding-day pants, and they were no exception. We decided that a trip to the outlets was in order to exchange the pants and buy the shirts.

We got him new pants--one inch smaller in the waist but a world of difference--and 2 white shirts with French cuffs. And now our clothing is all set.

And if you're wondering why we bought two, see all posts regarding insurance, back-up plans, and emergency exits. You can never be too prepared!

Dress? Check.

Yesterday was my final dress fitting. I wonder why it's called a "fitting"--you just show up and make sure the dress fits. My dress did fit (phew!).

And my shoes will work with the dress--mostly. They're not ideal, as I knew when I tried on the dress and was told to get a 1" heel, not a 2" heel, but I did the best I could do with the styles that are available and my budget. So what if the dress is a teensy bit shorter than it was designed to be--I'm ok with it. The dress will stay cleaner when walking over hills and dales and other dirty surfaces.

I do have to buy double-sided tape to make sure the neckline (do you call it that for a strapless dress?) stays flat against me. The dress will be fitting like a glove but we don't want to take any risks! We don't want a wardrobe malfunction to be the defining moment of our wedding day.

I'll be picking up my dress a few days before the wedding and transporting it--who knows how--down to my parents' house at some point. Should be an exciting adventure trying to keep it wrinkle free in the car.

Wedding worries

Last night, I picked up our marriage license and confused the town clerk when I basically asked for an insurance policy for the license:

M: What happens if I lose the marriage license?
Clerk: Lose it? You can't lose it. You need it to get married.
M: I know, but what if something happens to it? What if I accidentally set it on fire or something?
Clerk: You're going to burn your marriage license?
M: NO! I just mean...hypoethetically...what do I need to do if it somehow disappears and we need another one? Would there be another 3-day waiting period?
Clerk: No waiting period. I guess we'd make another one for you. Just don't lose it on a weekend.
M: I'll do my best...

Comforting...sort of.

The issue of "Will I lose our marriage license?" falls into the "Issues that won't be resolved until our wedding day" category, along with the very-important question of what to do with my engagement ring during the ceremony. I think I am supposed to wear it on my right ring finger, but it doesn't fit (not even with vigorous pushing will it fit over my knuckle) and would be way too big for my pinky finger. Is it a faux pas to wear it on your left ring finger during the ceremony and do a quick switcheroo afterwards? (Is it bad luck to remove your wedding ring so soon after the cermony??)

Also in the "You have to keep worrying about these issues" list is the attendees list and seating chart. It's looking like we won't receive all of our response cards by the requested due date. I didn't think people would need six weeks to decide if they wanted to come! We've been sending out friendly reminders because we know it's easy to forget to drop your card in the mail. This weekend, we'll juggle all of the names and hope that everyone falls into a table with people that they'll get along with.

Something old, something new...

I've been a cafeteria-style traditionalist for my wedding, picking and choosing the traditions that work for me and skipping the ones that won't work or don't make sense. I decided to keep the "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue" tradition. Here are my chosen items.

Something old
This one was easy. My grandmother gave me her pearl necklace for my last birthday, and it will be adorning my neck.

Something new
There are so many new items! My wedding gown, my silly slip, the lovely pearl and blue topaz earrings that Ben bought for me (we already exchanged our wedding gifts to each other--at least we are both equally impatient), my new (non-spraypainted) shoes, a handkerchief my mother bought for me--all new items.

Something borrowed
This one had me stumped, so I asked my mother for a recommendation, and she offered the garter that she wore at her wedding. Yes, I did swear off wearing a garter, but I think it will be ok as long as it isn't fished off and thrown to the crowd.

Something blue
We have lots of blue options. The earrings that Ben bought for me have blue stones, and the handkerchief has blue beading. I also plan to paint one toenail blue (already bought the honeymoon toenail polish)--maybe my fashion-forward sense will start a new trend in St. Tropez.

Putting away the spray paint (for now)

Everyone said that the seating arrangement was going to be the most difficult aspect of the wedding, but the seating arrangement is a close second to my shoe problems.

A few weeks ago, I bought tan ballroom shoes online with the intention of making them work--somehow. If contestants on "Project Runway" can turn ears of corn into haute couture, I figured I could do something with tan shoes.

Unfortunately, the shoe company sent me a wide size, and it just didn't work (my feet aren't small, but they're narrow). I also was having second thoughts about wearing spraypainted shoes at my wedding. I'm all for being crafty and homemade, but spraypainted shoes were too "What Not To Wear" for my tastes.

I decided to make one last trip to the mall last night before resigning myself to the status of too-crafty bride. I went in every shoe store and was overwhelmed with ballet slipper options but underwhelmed with kitten-heel options. All summer shoes were on sale, but the sale status also meant that the size options were limited.

I was preparing myself mentally for an inappropriate shoe--patent leather (don't tell Miss Manners!) or dark silver or blue or who knows what, anything with the right-sized heel, when I found the winner at Lord & Taylor.

The shoes are white with some fun designs and 2" heels--higher than I should get, but it's too late to be choosy. The shoes are comfortable, or at least they were in the store. The true test is this week's dress fitting--if the dress tailor says the shoes will work, I will start the breaking-in process and hope for the best.

There's no such thing as a bad hair day when you have a pillowcase on your head

At my first dress fitting, I bought the pricey wedding gown slip that they recommended because (a) I knew I needed a slip (b) I don't know anything about slips (c) Buying it there meant I didn't have to find it on my own.

The slip is kind of pouffy (when you see my dress, "pouffy" will definitely not be the first word that comes to mind, but the slip isn't like other slips that just sort of hang--this thing could probably walk down the aisle by itself). And having a kind-of pouffy slip means that putting on my dress is going to be more complicated than I originally thought. The slip has to be put on first, and I won't be able to step into my gown while wearing the slip.

And that means that my gown has to come on over my head.

Obviously, dressing me will be a multi-person operation, and it looks like I will be doing the least amount of work:

1. Lift arms.
2. Let dress fall into place magically.
3. Live happily ever after.

My mother, maid of honor, sister, and perhaps any random females who happen to be wandering by the hotel room at that time will be in charge of lifting up the gown (high enough for a statuesque female such as myself to step below it) while trying to keep it as wrinkle free as possible.

Have I mentioned that my hair and make-up will have already been done at this point? There is huge potential for ruined hair, make-up, dress, and morale. No bride wants a lipstick stain on her wedding gown (though we will have a Tide to Go stick and white-out onhand in case of an emergency, or if we have to touch up my shoes).

My mother offered a fabulous suggestion--I will wear a pillowcase on my head while putting on my dress. Luckily, because everyone in the whole world will be helping my put on my dress, there will be no opportunity to capture that magical wedding moment for the wedding album.

Dress sneak peak

Not me in the dress (my elbows are much sharper).

Final fitting next week!

Soundtracking our wedding

Last night, I filled out the DJ questionnaire, containing all-important questions such as, "Will there be a bouquet/garter toss?" and "Who will be toasting?" and "Where are you going on your honeymoon?" The questionnaire also asked for information about song selection.

I don't proclaim to have any musical ability, but my lack of talent does not in any way affect my enthusiasm for music. And that is why I have asked the DJ to incorporate some karaoke-style entertainment, courtesy of the bridal party, into the brunch portion of the day.

Just kidding. ;)

I want the music at our wedding and reception to suit our tastes as well as the tastes of our guests, while still giving our DJ the flexibility to make judgements about what music will appeal to the crowd.

I care most about the ceremony music--the music before the ceremony, the processional music, the music during the ceremony, and the music for the recessional and following receiving line.

For the rest of the day, we gave the DJ a few guidelines (we like Sinatra-style music for the cocktail hour and brunch) and requested a few favs ("Old Cape Cod" has to be played at least once at every Cape Cod wedding). For the dancing portion of the day, I asked the DJ to play music that will appeal to the most people and will get the most people on the dance floor--I think that people our age will still have a good time even if we're not rocking out to JT the whole time.

As for the last song, I left it up to the DJ's discretion--after all, he is the pro. I think we can safely assume that he will read the crowd correctly and play something that will appeal.

An unpolished bride

To polish or not to polish, that is the question. And we're questioning only my fingernails here--of course my toenails will be polished (in fact, they are part of the "something old, something new" tradition, though they are neither old nor new--more about that in a later post, perhaps--ooh, the foreshadowing...).

Here are the reasons in favor of polishing: Everyone expects my fingernails to be polished. Apparently, a special occasion is not a special occasion unless one's fingernails have assumed an unnatural, shiny, sparkly color. Second reason: I do admit that the unnatural, shiny, sparkly color does look nice and, well, polished.

Here are the reasons in favor of not polishing: I'm leaving for a 2-week honeymoon the day after my wedding. Unless I remove the polish the day after, I will have to deal with removing it at some point during the honeymoon because no nail polish, no matter how good it is, looks good past 5-7 days. Unless I want to buy nail polish remover while in France (let's face it, I'd rather wear chipped polish for a week and a half than deal with that translation nightmare), I have to pack the remover. And therein lies the problem.

If you've ever accidentally tipped a bottle of nail polish remover over in the cabinet and found everything smelling of acetone the next day, you'll understand my dilemma. I don't know why, but bottles of nail polish remover are notorious for leaking, even under normal circumstances. What will happen after an airplane trip and a number of clumsy luggage handlers? Even if I pack the nail polish remover in several ziploc bags, there is a risk that all of my clothing and personal items will be covered in nail polish remover by the time I land. Catastrophe!

To polish or not to polish, that remains the question.

Our first wedding gift!

We received a very special package this week--our first wedding gift!

B and I agreed that we wouldn't open any surprise packages without the other present so that we could open all gifts together. That plan proved to be very difficult when I found a mysterious and unexpected box on the doorstop while Ben was still out of town. He was due to arrive later that night, but in the meantime, I was forced to stare at but not open the box. Ok, maybe I peeked in. But I didn't open it. Didn't open it all the way, anyway.

Anyway.

Our first wedding gift was a beautiful All-Clad pan that was so shiny you could see your reflection in the side. We admired it and then put it back in the box and added it to the closet full o' shower gifts.

It's going to be like Christmas when we get home from our honeymoon.

3 showers in one day

My post yesterday did not do justice to my beautiful bridal shower, but the passport catastrophe has been resolved, so I can return to happy thoughts once again.

My MOH and mother planned such a lovely day and even ordered the perfect weather. My mother knew that I had wanted to have ice cream or sorbet at the wedding but wasn't able due to a variety of logistical issues, so she arranged to have ice cream sundaes at the shower--and they were fabulous. I had forgotten my Lactaid pills, but luckily my MOH had plenty on-hand.

The present-opening part of the shower was surprisingly difficult--no one tells you what you're supposed to do, and you just have to learn by watching other brides. And you feel like the spotlight is on you the entire time. I actually took off my sweater, an event that occurs only very rarely as I am frequently cold when everyone around me is warm.

People's gifts were so thoughtful and generous, and I'm overwhelmed and touched by them. Coming home and packing everything in the closet, not to be touched until after the wedding, was difficult, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I suspect I will have a few ways to keep myself occupied until then.

Don't panic! Don't panic!

I had a wonderful bridal shower this weekend with family and friends in attendance--the weather was perfect and the location divine--but then panic (unrelated to the shower) set in this morning, and I feel the need to share/unload it.

I try to keep up to date with travel news because I find the whole industry to be fascinating. Today I was reading an article about passport regulations, and the article mentioned that some countries require your passport to be valid for a certain amount of time after your arrival, or they won't let you enter the country.

My initial thought was, what is the point of having an expiration date if it isn't the real expiration date? But apparently most countries don't agree with me.

The reason that this news was potentially a critical problem is that my passport is due to expire somewhat soon. I applied for it towards the end of 1997 (in preparation for a trip to Europe in 1998). I couldn't remember when I received the passport, but I thought that the expiration date was in December of this year or January or February of next year.

I did a quick internet search but couldn't find anything online about the requirements, so I called the French consulate in Washington, D.C., and they referred me to the French consulate in Boston. A surly sounding woman answered the phone in French but (grudgingly? perhaps a bit) agreed to speak English. I asked how long a U.S. passport had to be valid for me to enter France, and she said it had to be valid for 3 months after the date of entry.

And then I started to panic.

If my passport had a December expiration, I might not be allowed into France. I might not even be allowed on the airplane to leave the country. I had to find out the expiration date pronto.

I left work and rushed home, worried--were my best-laid plans destined to leave me stranded at the airport? I am the type of person who plans for *everything*--how could I have overlooked such a critical part of the trip?

Luckily, my panic was unnecessary. Upon arriving home, I discovered that my passport is in fact good until February of next year--just in time to renew it with my new name.

Huge sighs of relief.

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams

Our honeymoon hotels are not the most luxurious digs in Paris and Nice, but they have won the "best hotel" awards from us because as of today, they are free.

Yes, B has accumulated over 110,000 Starpoints in his extensive travels to allow us 13 free nights in Europe for our honeymoon--amazing. He also reached Platinum status (meaning he has checked in to Starwood hotels more than 26 times in 2007--scary that he reached that milestone before the month of July even started), so we should get an automatic upgrade to the best room available in the hotel throughout our stay. I was hoping that we might possibly get an upgrade anyway if we mention that we are on our honeymoon--I intend to memorize that phrase in French and use it frequently throughout our stay. I can just see it now:

• Ou sont les toilettes? Nous sommes sur notre lune de miel.
• Parlez-vous anglais? Nous sommes sur notre lune de miel.
• Je voudrais la glace. Nous sommes sur notre lune de miel.

So many opportunities to spread the good word.

Spray paint or duct tape

Having spent a lifetime unable to buy normal pants because I am so tall, I was determined to make my height pay off by not having to pay to have my wedding gown hemmed. My wish has come true. Unfortunately (and isn't this the case with wishes that come true), my wish has some unexpected consequences.

Yes, I don't have to have my gown hemmed, but I have to wear a 1" heel--no more, no less, in order for my gown to hit in the right place.

I know from experience (2 1/2 hours spent exclusively at shoe stores at the outlets 2 days ago) that the right shoe is hard to find. I wasn't shopping for wedding-day shoes, but they were in the back of my mind, and I found no contenders.

I know from dance lessons that I need shoes with backs. In fact, the best shoes are ballroom dance shoes because they are made for comfort. And the best place to find dance shoes is online. (Normally, online shoe shopping is just about the worst idea in the world because you need to try on most shoes to know if they're comfortable. But with ballroom dance shoes, they're all comfortable, so there is less of a risk.)

I found more shoe options in the online world, but I didn't find any that I wanted. I found a great site that custom-makes every pair of shoes, so you can choose the heel height and fabric and everything. Unfortunately, the prices were high, and the shoes shipped from China, meaning there is a long waiting period and spendy shipping prices.

The shoe site with free shipping had nice options--unfortunately, all of the low-heeled shoes were in black or tan. According to these sites, brides want 2 1/2" - 3" heels. Sniff.

I ended up ordering the same ballroom shoes I have now, except they're tan colored (the ones I have are black). I didn't want tan-colored shoes, but perhaps something can be done. And by something, I mean spraypaint, glitter, and maybe some rhinestones. Will it look awful? Perhaps. Will it look better than a wedding gown hemmed with duct tape? Probably.

At this point, we just have to go with the better of two evils.